Broken
by The Raider
Summary: Season 6 AU/Short Story. After nearly killing Dawn in "Wrecked", Willow seeks help with her Magick addiction from the person she probably hurt worst of all, Tara.
1. Reaching Out For Help

**So this is just a little short-story I've been working on for about a month or so now. It's based on an idea that during "Wrecked", when Willow was breaking down, what if she went to Tara for help with the whole 'Magick Addiction' thing. **

**There's only one or two chapters of this, but they both are long, so...take from it what ye wish. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or any of the characters. They belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. **

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"Dawnie, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." As she fell to the ground, her tears effectively blinding her, Willow felt the world around her beginning to slip away. The realization of what she had done continued to pour through every inch of her mind, making sure that she couldn't escape from it, even if she used Magick to do so. Ahead of her, Buffy, Spike, and Dawn continued to move forward, their footsteps echoing to the Witch's ears as if it were part of her punishment. Looking up from where she had fallen, Willow saw Buffy looking back at her, the anger in her eyes visible enough to set the night surrounding her on fire.

"Buffy…" Just barely able to saw the girl's name before her sobs transformed her words into barely understandable gibberish, the red-head felt her heart break once again as the Slayer turned and walked away with Spike, the vampire still supporting Dawn as they disappeared into the night. As she struggled to her feet, Willow could barely see from the way her tears had blinded her. Underneath her, her feet seemingly refused to work properly and caused her to once again fall to the cold Earth beneath her.

_"Please, I'm sorry…"_ Saying the statement to nothing more than the air that surrounded her, the Witch rested her head against the cold dirt that she was lying against. Inside her, the Magicks she had used continued to swirl, infecting every corner of her insides, mind and body. What had given her pleasure not even half an hour ago was feeling like a curse. As the events of the past weeks came flooding back to her, she looked back on what she had done, to both Buffy and Tara. The memories unfolding in front of her eyes, it felt as if she were watching them in another body, watching someone that she wished wasn't her.

As the Magicks inside of her continued to cycle through her system, they made her muscles tingle with the vague remnants of what she had experienced earlier. The memories still flashing in front of her vision, Willow's thoughts seemingly repeated the same scenes over and over again without a single break. Her promise to Tara ran out through her ears, overwhelming the sense as it tried to drown out her thoughts.

"Tara…I'm sorry…" Pushing the words out of her mouth, even though she knew that the girl wouldn't be able to hear her, the Witch continued to feel the Magicks building and swelling inside her. Around her, the world continued to feel farther and farther away as her thoughts focused solely on her memories of the girl. Gathering into a single focus, the Magicks spread out to every inch of her body before resting down into her finger-tips. As the girl's fingers curled and uncurled seemingly on their own accord, the Witch's form disappeared from the scene of the wrecked car, and reappeared in a new location that had no relation to the previous events.

Her face still held to the ground, the red-head could feel the change in how the dirt below her felt. As her open green eyes looked at the substance beneath her, confusion ran rampant through her mind._ …Carpet? _Looking up from the different ground underneath her, Willow could see the familiar hallway of the University's dorms. Her eyes catching sight of the numbers stamped next to the door, her heart dropped to the bottom of her body as she recognized the dorm's resident.

_"Willow?_" As she looked down at the girl lying on the floor in front of the door, Tara's eyes grew large with a mix of shock and barely noticeable anger. "W-What are you doing he-"

"Tara?" Saying the girl's name through her sobs, Willow wrapped her arms around the other girl's ankles. "Tara, I'm sorry…"

"Willow, you need to leave." Still looking down at the girl holding onto her, Tara knew that she should walk away, but she found herself strangely rooted to the place where she was standing.

"Tara, I…I hurt everyone…" Her sobs resuming with renewed strength, Willow buried her head into the blonde girl's bare-feet. _"Please…"_

"What do you mean?"

"You, Dawnie, Buffy…" As the names passed from her lips, the red-head closed her eyes as her body seemingly began to grow heavier and heavier. Her mind couldn't even begin to comprehend how she had gotten to the Dorms, other than somehow the Magicks had teleported her here. "I didn't mean to…"

"Willow, what happened?" Kneeling down in order to look at the other girl's face, Tara saw the way dirt had been stained around the other girl's usually clean face.

"Dawnie…car…Magick…Demon…" Were all that the red-head was able to force out before her voice once again degraded into a combination of sobs, dry heaves, and gasps for breath.

"Willow, look at me. What happened?"

"Hurt…everyone…" As she laid her head back onto the ground below her, Willow's sobs tampered off as her mind shut down and forced her body to fall asleep. Her hands still clutching the other girl's ankles, the Witch felt everything around her slip into black.

"Willow?" Her attention still solely focused on the other girl, Tara gently cupped the red-head's cheeks and looked at her face. "Willow?"

As no response came from the other girl, Tara managed to pull the other girl onto her feet. Noticing the way her body was limp, she pressed her hand against the girl's throat. Able to feel a pulse through the skin, she sighed, her mind satisfied that the red-head was alright. If only for a moment. Managing to half-drag, half-help the red-head towards the sole bed in the room, she gently set the girl down onto the mattress, unable to not notice how cold Willow's skin was.

Easing herself down into a sitting position next to the bed, she looked at the way the other girl's chest rose and fell without any specific pattern. Uncertain of how much time had passed since the incidents Willow had vaguely managed to describe, she reached for the phone, her eyes never once leaving the other girl except when it came time to dial the number she wanted. Her thumb moving in quick succession, she pressed the phone to her ear and returned her gaze to the other girl. _Goddess, what happened…_

"_Hi, you've reached the Summers. We're not home right now, so just leave your number and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks!"_ As Dawn's voice flowed out from the speaker and into her ear, Tara sighed and waited for the sign to leave her message.

"Buffy? It's Tara, are you there?" Waiting a minute or so in case there was someone at the house, the Wiccan finally sighed and hung up. As she set the phone back onto the table, she thought she saw a small smutch of black work its way off of Willow's hand and into her vein. Her eyes mesmerized by the sight, she pulled up the other girl's sleeve and watched as the black color shot up through the red-head's otherwise invisible veins. Finally disappearing as it reached the Witch's elbow, it was as if the color hadn't existed.

"Willow?" Pulling the girl's jacket sleeve back down into its appropriate place, Tara looked up at the red-head's face. The dirt was still there, its color stained with the pathways from the tears that the girl had obviously cried. Hearing no response from the Witch, the blonde Wiccan pushed herself back onto her feet and headed towards the closet. Not even bothering to turn on the light that lay on the ceiling, she pulled a blanket off of the top shelf and returned to where the red-head was still lying silently. Setting the blanket down beside where the girl was lying, she set to work on undoing the red-head's shoes. Letting the objects fall to the floor as she finished untying them, Tara considered removing Willow's jacket but decided against it. Unsure of what else she could do apart from make sure the other girl was warm, Tara unraveled the blanket and spread it out across the other girl's body.

Making her way around the bed, she moved one of the pillows and gently set it underneath the Witch's head. Still showing no signs of being awake or even being in the midst of a dream. It was as if she were completely void of feeling anything. Pressing her palm against the girl's forehead, Tara almost pulled away as she felt the direct contrast in temperature. Where only minutes before, Willow's skin had been ice cold, it now was slightly warm, the feeling reminding the blonde Wiccan of someone with a fever. The combination of the changed temperature and the black spot disappearing into the girl's body weighing heavy on the Wiccan's mind, Tara considered calling Buffy again, just to make sure that the Slayer was home.

For yet another moment in her life, she was unsure of what to do.

* * *

Opening her eyes, Willow found a familiar face watching her. Closing her eyes due to the blurriness that had clouded her vision, the red-head moved her hand out from the material covering it and rubbed her exhausted green eyes.

"Willow?" As Tara's voice ran through her ears, the Witch realized where she was. The memories from the previous night beginning to return, she felt fear sink into her heart.

"Tara…" Unsure of what exactly to say, she tried to push herself into a sitting position until she felt the other girl's hands pushing her back down. "I shouldn't have come here…"

"Do you remember how you got here?" Seemingly ignoring what the red-head had said, Tara looked into the girl's green eyes. "Willow…how did you get here?"

"I…oh, god, I don't know…"

"Y-You don't remember?"

"No, Tara, I don't _know._ I remember being on the ground, and then I was looking up at you." Looking down at the material covering her, Willow recognized the same blanket that she had laid upon numerous times with the other girl. The object sending a wave of hurt through her heart, she once again tried to get up. "I should go."

"No, you came _here_, you're done making decisions."

"Tara-" Starting to say something, Willow saw how much anger was beginning to sink into the other girl's voice.

"Willow, do you even remember what you did last night? You almost killed Dawn!" The volume of the girl's words hurting her ears, Willow closed her eyes. "What's _wrong _with you?"

"I don't know, Tara…" Opening her eyes, the red-head remained largely silent in case Tara found the need to yell at her again.

"Willow, do you realize why she got hurt? Because _you_ couldn't control yourself!" Realizing that she was in effect only making the other girl feel worse, Tara sighed and rubbed her eyes. "I'm sorry I yelled."

"I deserve it." Seemingly shrinking into the blanket still covering her, the red-head almost felt like wishing for the Earth to swallow her up. "Go on, don't let me stop you."

"Willow…"

"I let a demon attack-"

"I know. Buffy told me on the phone." Upon hearing the Slayer's name, the Witch's eyes shot open, her irises completely filled to the brim with fear.

"Oh, god, you didn't tell her I was here, did you?" Sighing, Tara looked at the other girl with her eyes and face awash with emotion.

"No, I didn't."

"Why not?" Almost every emotion had drained out of the red-head's tone by now, causing her to seem entirely lifeless. The illusion only added to by the state of her clothes and the mixture of dirt and dried tears on her cheeks, Willow looked up at the other girl as if she were nothing more than a shell. "I wouldn't have blamed you."

"Because you need help." Her gaze shifting in order to allow her to look into the other girl's eyes, Tara sighed once more. "And I'm going to give it to you."

"What?" As an emotion finally filled out her voice, Willow tried once again to push herself into a sitting position, but the other girl simply repeated what she had done earlier and pushed her back into the mattress.

"Willow, I got rid of everything in the room that could be used for Magick." Seeing the way the red-head was looking around the room, Tara saw the girl's gaze eventually turn back onto her. "There's nothing here other than what you would see in a normal room."

"Tara…"

"It's all somewhere where you can't find it." Her blue eyes hardening somewhat, Tara reached down and pulled a wet rag out of a sitting bowel. "So don't bother looking for any of it."

"Tara, I need to leave…"

"I already told you, you're not going anywhere." Pressing the wet rag against the other girl's cheeks, the blonde Wiccan started to clean off some of the dirt that still lay there. "Buffy doesn't know you're here, so you're safe."

"Tara, let me go." Starting to get back onto her feet for the umpteenth time, Willow saw Tara look towards the phone still lying silent on the nearby table.

"I could call Buffy and have her come get you. Is that what you want?" Her green eyes now focused on the phone, the red-head shook her head as the fear of the Slayer finding her sank in.

"Then you're staying here. Lay still." Moving the wet rag over the red-head's cheeks once more, the blonde Wiccan went to work on trying to clean up the other girl.

"I'm fine. Really." Turning her head slightly in order to avoid looking at the other girl's eyes, Willow knew that she was only lying to herself by saying that she was fine. The images of how she had hurt Dawn the previous night continued to move through her mind, infecting every other memory in the process.

"No, Willow, you're not." Setting the rag down for a moment, Tara looked down at the other girl. "Even you know that's not true."

"I'm fine." Saying the sentence with even less enthusiasm that she had only a moment before, the red-head kept her eyes focused on something else in the room.

"Willow, look me in the eyes and say that."

"I'm fine." Turning her head in order to look at the other girl's face, the Witch was only able to look at the blonde's chin before her mind refused to let her gaze go any further.

"In. My. Eyes."

"I'm…" Finally able to make her eyes look into Tara's blue irises, Willow felt the rest of the words die inside of her mouth.

"You can't do it, can you?"

"Tara, I...I need help…" As tears started to fall from her eyes, Willow felt the hand holding her down to the bed soften slightly, but it still maintained its strong grip. "I tried to stop…"

"But you can't." Finishing the other girl's sentence, Tara closed her eyes as she shook her head. "Willow, you _can._ You just don't want to."

"I tried, but it hurts." Still crying, the red-head gave up trying to return to her feet, and collapsed fully onto the mattress beneath her. "Tara, I need help…"

"You _can _stop." Her hand rising and falling with the other girl's somewhat ragged breath, Tara tried her best to maintain the somewhat angry expression that lay on her face. "Willow, you _can_."

"I can't…" Still crying, Willow reached up and laid her hand atop the other girl's digits. "Tara, I can't…" Managing to push herself into a sitting position, the red-head laid her head onto the Wiccan's lap. The other girl's hand still onto her own, Tara slowly rested her free hand atop the other girl's red hair.

"Tara, I can't stop…"

* * *

"Tara, are you sure that you haven't seen her?" As she stood in the doorway, Buffy watched as the other girl continued to pack various clothes and objects into a waiting box. Willow had been missing for almost a week now, and although the anger she felt towards the other girl had subsided somewhat, it still lingered within her.

"No, I haven't." Looking up from the box she had been packing, Tara saw the image of the red-head sleeping off the effects of her withdrawal. "Not since she was here with Amy."

"I feel terrible. We just left her there, crying and hurt." Looking down at the floor, Buffy's tone showed a noticeable amount of regret. "I know we were angry, but we shouldn't have just left her there."

"Buffy, Dawn was hurt. There was nothing wrong with what you did."

"Willow needs help. I think she saw that." Her gaze moving up towards the other girl, the Slayer moved aside as Tara picked up the box and started to head towards the door.

"If she did, then maybe she'll come back." As the words left the Wiccan's mouth, Tara's gaze refused to meet the other girl's eyes. "Maybe she'll get better."

* * *

As she closed the door behind her, Tara considered turning on the lights before remembering that she wasn't alone in the room. Her body wrapped underneath the sheets of the sole bed situated in the middle of the room, Willow whimpered slightly. Still, she tried to remain quiet, considering that Tara had tried to make sure no-one outside of the room knew that she was there.

"Willow?" As she said the red-head's name, there was an audible sound of sheets being shifted that could be heard before the other girl responded to her name being called. Making her way through the darkened room illuminated only by the Christmas lights scattered across the ceiling, Tara eased herself down into a portion of the bed that was unoccupied. Reaching over and grabbing the wash-cloth from where it lay undisturbed in the bowl of water on the table, she rang the material out and laid it across the other girl's forehead.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"No." Shaking her head, the red-head closed her eyes as she felt the cool material covering her forehead.

"It's just the Magicks. Your body isn't used to not using them." Frowning, Tara looked at the small bowl of soup that lay on the table where the other girl could have easily gotten at it. "Did you try to eat anything?"

Nodding, Willow opened her green eyes, and struggled to focus them on the girl sitting next to her. The Christmas lights that crisscrossed the room were the only source of light within the entire room, causing her already slightly blurred vision to become even more strained.

"Could you keep it down?"

"No." Closing her eyes as her stomach rolled over at the mention of food, the red-head felt the cool cloth on her forehead disappear as the other girl removed it and dipped it back into the bowl.

"Do you want to try again?" Taking the bowl of uneaten soup into her hands, Tara continued to look down at the red-head. "I could heat this up for you."

"No, I don't feel good." Shaking her head, Willow turned onto her side and buried her head into the pillow that she had been laying against for the past few days. "I don't want to even _think_ about food."

"You need to eat though. It'll probably help." Looking down at the bowl again, the blonde Wiccan got back onto her feet and headed towards the small microwave that lay across the room. "I'll just heat it up and leave it for you in case you get hungry."

"Ok." Barely whispering the word, Willow turned over again in the bed. She had been doing the same thing for almost an hour now, considering that she hadn't been anything close to comfortable for the past few days. Minutes passed before the other girl returned to the side of the bed. As she set the bowl of reheated soup down onto the table, Tara felt Willow's hand come to rest on top of her arm.

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because you need it." Frowning, the blonde felt the other girl remove her hand as if she were going to lose the limb by simply having it in contact with her. "Why do you think I'm doing this?"

"So you can punish me later." Pulling her hand back underneath the sheets that she was, for all intents and purposes , hiding underneath, Willow closed her eyes as she waited for the other girl to confirm her suspicions. "I wouldn't blame you. I hurt Buffy, I hurt Dawn, and I hurt you. I deserve it."

Inside her, Tara felt nothing but shock running through her. She had made sure that Willow knew that she was angry with her, but to hear that the other girl thought she meant to _punish_ her…it was unbelievable, to say the least. Kneeling down onto her knees beside the bed, the blonde Wiccan looked at the red-head's face.

"Willow, I'm not going to hurt you. I _couldn't _do that. I want you to get better so you can fix what you've done."

"I can't fix it." Her eyes still closed against the room around her, the Witch shook her head slightly. Seeing the reaction, the blonde reluctantly placed her hand against the other girl's warm cheek.

"You can. You just have to try."

"Tara, please, don't." Opening her eyes, Willow looked at the other girl. "I don't deserve to hear you say that."

"Willow-"

"Please, just stop." Turning over in the bed, the red-head closed her eyes and tried to will back to sleep. Frowning, Tara realized that fighting about this wasn't what the other girl needed, no-matter how much she needed to hear her reasoning. As she got back onto her feet, the blonde Wiccan looked up at the Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling, and sighed.

"Are you sure that you don't want to eat something?"

"I can try…" Opening her eyes once more, the girl looked at Tara with hurt lining her irises as she tried to push herself up into a comfortable sitting position.

"Don't get up, it'll make you hurt more." Sitting back down on the mattress, the Wiccan rested her hands on the red-head's shoulders. "Just lay back down."

"Can't eat if I'm laying down." Saying the joke with hardly any tone of amusement to her voice, Willow looked at the bowl of reheated soup. "Unless you get me a straw or something."

"Just lay down." Reaching up and laying the back of her palm against the girl's forehead, Tara sighed. "You're still really warm."

"It comes and goes. I'll be warm and then I'll be cold." Replying as she watched the blonde girl take the bowl into her hands, Willow sighed. "I'm a regular California weather cycle."

"Here." Lifting the bowl up to the red-head's lips, Tara watched as the other girl closed her eyes and began to drink the contents of the bowl. Her head peacefully resting on the pillow behind her, the Witch drank as much as her stomach would allow before placing her hands against the bowl and giving it a small push to show Tara that she had had enough.

"Better?" Setting the bowl down onto the table once again, Tara turned in time to see Willow snuggling deeper into the sheets surrounding her, her expression showing nothing but content and peace. The sight causing her to smile, the Wiccan reached out and pushed some of the girl's red-hair behind her ear before pulling the sheets up until they met Willow's chin. Unable to lift her eyes' gaze from the red-head's face, she found the girl's hand, and entwined her fingers with it.

* * *

Opening her sleep-drenched eyes, Tara shook her head slightly as a constantly recurring sound brought her out of her dream. Turning herself over from where she was lying in the makes-shift bed on the floor, her eyes were confronted with a bright beam of light. Pushing herself up into a sitting position, she wiped her eyes in an attempt to wake herself up. The room around her was otherwise silent, save for the sound that kept pouring out of the bathroom. As she got onto her feet, the blonde Wiccan looked into the bed beside her, and upon finding it empty, she knew who was making the noise.

As she took a few steps towards the light, Tara again heard the sound that awakened her, the sound of it filling out the entire room. _Crying?..._

"Willow?" Stopping just outside of the connecting bathroom, Tara saw Willow look up from where she was laying in front of the toilet, tears staining her green eyes. "Are you alright?"

"The soup came back up." Closing her eyes, the red-head rested her head back onto the makeshift pillow she had made out of nearby towels. Frowning as she saw the condition the other girl was in, Tara made her way into the room.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed." Traversing the last few steps towards the other girl, Tara reached down and grabbed the other girl's hands. As her palms rested against the red-head's fingers, the Wiccan felt how cold Willow really was. The difference in temperature was even more noticeable than it had been before. It was as if Willow was getting colder and colder with each passing day that she went without using any Magick. "You'll feel better if you get warmed up."

"I don't feel good…" Pouting, the red-head allowed the other girl to help her onto her wobbly feet. "I think I should lay back down, in case I get sick."

"If you get sick, there's a garbage can next to the bed. Don't get up again." Turning off the light behind her, Tara made her way back to the bed with the other girl held close to her. "You'll get worse if you just lay on the bathroom floor."

"You take the bed. I'll sleep on the floor." Shaking her head slightly, Willow tried to prevent the blonde from sitting her back onto the sheets that she had struggled out of only half an hour earlier.

"Willow, you're taking the bed. End of discussion."

"Tara-"

"Willow, just try to sleep." As she pressed the girl onto her side and pulled the sheets back over-top of her, Tara sighed. "We're not going to argue about this."

"Why not? We've argued about everything els-"

"Don't." Looking back at the other girl, the blonde Wiccan shook her head. "We're not going back to that."

"Tara, I know you're trying to help, but I can't stop feeling like this. It hurts too much."

"Then stop."

"When did this go wrong?" Looking up at the other girl, Willow's green eyes glowed slightly in the dim lighting offered by the hanging Christmas lights. "I thought I was helping people…"

"You were." Moving some of the girl's red-hair out of her face, Tara sighed. "You just got out of control."

"Things fall apart, don't they?"

"Willow, you just-" Seeing how the Witch's gaze had fallen away from her, the blonde Wiccan could see that she wanted to say something. "What is it?"

"Am I really that unlovable?" Bringing her knees up to her chest in order to try and preserve some of her warmth, Willow stared back at the girl. "What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, it's what you do."

"People say they love me, and then they leave. Oz loved me, he said he had never loved anything more, and he left. You left, and you said you were mine. And now you're here, and I can't even look at you without wanting you."

"Willow, I…I want you too, but we can't…It wouldn't be right."

"Because of what I did to you." Burying her head into the sheets beneath her, Willow coughed slightly as her body refused to allow anymore tears to come from it. "It all comes back to me. I ruin everything."

"Willow, look at me." Seeing the lack of response from the other girl, Tara scootched herself closer to where the girl was lying underneath the warmed sheets and comforter. "Sweetie, just listen to me."

Her mind unable to stop herself from using the pet-name, the Wiccan watched as the other girl lifted her head from the bed, and looked at her.

"I…I need to know that if I come back to you, that you won't hurt me again. If I had stayed, there wouldn't be anything left of me. Can you understand that?" Waiting until she saw Willow nod her head in response, Tara took a breath before she continued. "What you did…that hurt. Do you even realize how much that hurt me? After what I went through with Glory, the thought that you did that to me…"

"It hurt." Nodding, Tara watched as those green eyes continued to stare at her.

"Willow-"

"Tara, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, how many times do I have to say it?!" As more tears feel from her eyes, Willow coughed slightly as her body begged her to stop. "I'm sorry that I'm such an idiot for trying to control you. I'm terrible for thinking that Magick could make things better. I'm evil for trying to make you forget…"

As her voice finally began to break, the red-head buried her head back into the pillow underneath her.

"I want things to go back to the way they were!"

"They can't, honey, not exactly. Please, just try to calm down, you're just upset."

"I want them back!" Raising her head again, the red-head looked at the other girl from behind tear-filled eyes. "Please, Tara, tell me you'll let me love you again…"

Hearing the way the Witch's voice effectively broke as the words left her mouth, Tara opened her mouth to speak, but found all the words she wanted to say remaining locked inside her throat.

"Please?" Saying the word with even more desperation behind it, Willow felt a tear roll down her cheek. Inside her chest, she could feel her heart beginning to break. "Tara…please…"

"I…I don't know. You're still not better yet." Even as she saw the girl's crumbling spirits in front of her, the Wiccan continued on. "We have to wait and see."

"You're saying 'no.'" Turning her head away from the girl, Willow buried it underneath the pillow beneath her. "You don't want me to love you."

"Sweetie, I…I do." Laying her hand on the girl's shoulder, Tara sighed. "Things are complicated."

"I…I need to sleep." Burying her head deeper into the pillow and mattress, the red-head continued to let tears slide down her cheek as she cried. Her chest actually beginning to physically hurt, the other girl pushed herself off of the bed and grabbed one of the books from her bag. Focusing on anything besides what was happening at that moment was better. Easing herself down onto the make-shift bed she had made beside the mattress, Tara tried her best not to siege on the urge to jump into the bed and hold onto the girl in order to make her stop crying.

Opening the text-book, she started to read, her hearing only able to pick up on that of Willow's silent tears, and the way her heart pounded in her ears.


	2. Barely Able To Breathe

**Thanks for all the positive feed-back on the first chapter :) Guess sitting on this thing for a month or so and perfecting it was well worth it :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or any of the characters. They belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. **

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"So…how's Buffy been doing?" Continuing to watch the girl slurp away at the shake in front of her on the table, Tara sighed. "I know I haven't been around a lot recently."

"She's been fine. Occupied with the Slaying thing." Swallowing another mouthful of the drink, Dawn smiled. "It's alright. You're here now, aren't you?"

"That's true." Looking up at the blue sky overhead, Tara wondered if Willow was watching it from the dorm room, or if she still was laying on the bed in the dark. Ever since the morning that the girl had agreed to stay and let the Magicks work their way out of her system, the red-head seemingly had grown afraid of seeing the sun outside. It was as if the world outside the room hardly even existed anymore. Her skin was starting to become increasingly pale as a result of the cut connection from the sun, which only added to the illusion of a junkie going through withdrawal from their drug of choice. Still, she seemed to have been getting better, if that word was even appropriate to use.

And yet, the Wiccan felt slightly guilty about leaving her alone in the room for so long. She had gone to her classes, as was her usual routine, but then she had gone straight to see Dawn, instead of returning to the room. Part of her knew that constantly being there with the girl would only serve to make her dependent on someone else instead of herself. And yet, her heart screamed at her to return to the girl and make sure she was alright. Willow had found herself constantly growing sicker in the past days, although the worst of it had seemingly already past. Still, the fact remained that the Magicks working their way out of her system were making it impossible for her to keep any food inside her system.

The question that she had asked the night before troubled the Wiccan. Did Willow actually believe that she didn't love her anymore? Never before in her life had she ever loved anyone more, and to have someone doubt that, it _hurt. _It was like having a constant pain in her chest that refused to go away, and only continued to build in its intensity. It many regards, it was like a fire. It only burned on more and more as it gained more fuel to feed it.

Did she still love the girl? There was not a single doubt in her mind that she did. More than anything in her entire life, she was sure of that. There had been no-one else before her, and there would never be anyone else after her. How could there be? With Willow, there was Magic in the things she did. The way she held her, the way her touch sent a spark flowing through every inch of her body that tingled for hours on end, the way that a simple look from those penetrating green eyes could make her heart want to stop dead in her chest. All of it was Magic, without any implications of the power that the girl held within herself.

The Magicks had tried to ruin that. They had rooted themselves in her mind, until the girl believed that she needed them to be who she was. That was another thing that made the Wiccan's chest erupt into sharp pains. What once had been a way to show trust and love had spiraled into something that frightened and caused harm. Hadn't Willow known that? Did she even realize what was happening to her? What they were making her do?

Looking up from where her attention had been focused, Tara saw the cast that remained around Dawn's arm, showing yet another sign that Willow _hadn't_ been in control. And in the end, seeing the pain that she had caused the younger girl had been enough to make Willow want help. That's what she was doing right now, trying to get better so that the Magicks wouldn't endanger herself or any of those around her.

"Tara, do you think you'll ever, you know…be in a relationship with Willow again?" As she heard the question fall from the girl's lips, Tara's heart actually stopped for a moment before resuming its usual rhythm. Once more, the thoughts of Willow lying in bed with the pain of withdrawal coursing through her made the words to the question begin to come in droves.

"I…I don't know. I still love her, honey. She's just doing things to herself, and to others, that I can't see her do." Her gaze dropping to the ground, Tara sighed. "She has to choose between me or the Magicks, and I can't stand to see her choose the Magicks."

"She wouldn't do that. She loves you." Seeing the sadness that had begun to line the other girl's eyes, Dawn rested her good hand on the blonde's knee. "Do you think that she's trying to stop, but doesn't want our help to do it?"

"Maybe." As she spoke, the Wiccan's mind screamed out the word 'liar'. First to Buffy, and now to Dawn, she had lied about not knowing where Willow truly was, when all the while the Witch was detoxing inside her room. With images of the girl sleeping with so much pain in her body floated through her mind's eye once more, the Wiccan forced herself to look back at the younger girl and smile. "I just hope she's alright."

"Are you ok? You've been kinda distant-y all day." Noticing the way Tara was looking at her, Dawn looked down at her shirt in an attempt to see if she had maybe spilled something on the article, and hadn't noticed it. "Is there something on me?"

"No, you're fine." Smiling nervously back at the girl, Tara fiddled with a stray piece of fabric on her shirt. "I've just got things on my mind. Nothing you need to worry about."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, sweetie." Looking down at the small watch wrapped around her wrist, the Wiccan pushed herself away from the table. "We better get you home. Buffy's probably already back from work."

* * *

"Willow?" Gently shutting the door behind her, Tara felt her heart drop as she saw the bathroom light turned on. As she set her bag down against the nearby desk, she made her way towards the lighted room, already knowing somewhat what she would find inside. Passing the bed on her way there, the Wiccan pulled off one of the blankets that lay in a semi-folded state at the very edge of the mattress, and threw it over her shoulder. Entering the room, Tara found Willow once again laying in front of the toilet head, her body shaking as she lay curled in on herself with her knees pulled to her chest. Noticing that the girl was in the closest thing to sleep that she would probably be able to get to in her present state, Tara managed to prop her up enough so that her head was laying on her lap. Only stirring slightly for a moment, Willow seemingly was able to sense the girl holding her, and she curled herself around the Wiccan's body. Gently parting the girl's hair away from her forehead, Tara watched as the other girl continued to sleep in her affected state. Seeing that Willow's trembling had begun to tamper off, the girl looked at the book that the girl had been lying next to.

Thumbing open the cover until she reached the first page, the Wiccan almost slapped herself as she realized what she was looking at. She had seen Willow's diary countless times, but she still hadn't recognized the cover. Part of her wanted to put the book down, to preserve what little privacy the Witch had left, but another part wanted her to see what the girl was thinking during the hours that she was away. Knowing more about how she was feeling, besides what she already knew, might give her all the more urge to help the red-headed Witch get better.

As she started to read, the distinctiveness of Willow's handwriting was the first thing that greeted her eyes.

_March 21__st_

_Everything hurts. My stomach, my head, my heart, all of it. If I knew that even so much as using Dark Magicks once would do this, I would have stopped earlier. It's like I'm going through some episode of a crime show that Mom used to watch when I would come home from school. The ones where the drug addicts go through withdrawal and all that while helping out the cops. Except, I'm just a Witch that's going through withdrawal under the threat of having someone tell Buffy where I am._

_I don't think Tara will do that though…I don't know why, but I think she still loves me. I don't deserve it, but I think she does. Why else would she try to help me through all this? She could have just thrown me out into the street and I could have made with the whole homeless-y thing._

_My stomach hurts again. Gotta lay down._

_March 22__nd_

_Tara fed me some soup before I went back to sleep. I think I might be able to keep it down this time. My stomach hasn't been so good on the whole 'keeping things down so Willow doesn't throw up' thing recently. She went to sleep, so I'm having to write this by some kind of flashlight. The batteries are kinda dying, so I'm trying to hurry this along in a timely sort of way. _

_It hurts to look at her and now how much I hurt her. Why couldn't I see that when I did that stupid spell? I should have been able to see how much that was going to hurt her, after what Glory did to her. I was an idiot. I deserved to be left. That's how it's always been, hasn't it? Oz left, Mom and Dad left, Tara left, there's something that makes me unlovable. _

_Maybe I should go back to sleep. Thinking about all of this makes my stomach_

The words completely stopped at the mention of her stomach. Already knowing that that signaled the moment that led to her finding Willow on the floor of the bathroom the night before, Tara frowned at what she had just read. She knew that the girl had felt ashamed of what she had done to her, but to that degree? It hurt to think that she thought that she wasn't worth love anymore. Didn't she see that she was loved beyond any possible degree of measure? Had the Magicks inside her really robbed her of knowing that?

"Tara?" Shutting the book quietly and quickly, Tara returned it to its place as the girl beside her started to stir. Returning to her normal position just as she saw the red-head's eyes open, the Wiccan offered the girl a small smile.

"Are you alright, sweetie?"

"A little. Better now that you're here." Knowing that she threading on something that might be making the other girl uncomfortable, Willow frowned. "Sorry, shouldn't have said that."

"It's alright." Seeing that the girl was slightly confused as to how she had become enveloped in a blanket, the blonde Wiccan tugged on it in a corner so that it would completely cover the girl's body. Wrapping herself deeper into the cover that Tara had drapped over her body, Willow breathed in and out as the Wiccan reached out and tightly held onto her.

"I saw Dawnie today." As she said the sentence, the blonde girl felt the red-head stiffen for a moment as she heard the younger Summers child's name.

"How is she?" Finally speaking up, the Witch brought her knees tighter up against her chest as another wave of pain burned through her veins.

"She's better. Her arm is healing, and she should be out of her cast in a few weeks."

"That's good…I'm starting to regret eating that soup." Pausing for a moment in mid-sentence, Willow groaned slightly as her stomach began to do summersaults inside her.

"Did you make some while I was gone?" Seeing the girl nod, the Wiccan sighed. "And you still couldn't keep it down?"

"No." Shaking her head, the red-head whimpered as a wave of pain burned through her sick stomach. "Oh, god, it hurts so much…"

"Ssshhh, it's ok." Pressing the girl tighter against her side, Tara felt the wound in her heart being ripped open once again. No matter how many times she told herself that Willow was getting better, the sight of seeing her girl being reduced to what she could liken to a broken and sick little girl made every inch of her chest hurt. "Just try to sleep. If you get sick, you get sick."

"I can't, he's there in my dreams." Shaking her head, the red-head continued to breathe shallow breaths as the other girl ran her fingers over her fiery red-hair.

"Who, honey?" Looking down at the trembling girl, the Wiccan could almost tell that Willow was hiding something from her. For almost five weeks, she had been absent from the girl's life, and that left a window of time of which she knew nothing about.

"The warlock Amy took me to." Keeping her eyes hut tightly as the memories and images from the two times she had visited the Magick dealer came back, Willow shook her head. "Rack."

"The one who gave you the Dark Magicks?" Seeing the red-head nod, Tara continued to run her fingers along the girl's red-hair in an attempt to calm the girl down.

"He won't leave me alone. He wants me to come back. Everytime I dream, if I even do, he's there."

"He can't get you here, I promise." Leaning down in order to give the girl a kiss on her head, the blonde Wiccan saw the girl look up at her with green eyes lined with a mixture of shock and hope. Staring back at her, Tara offered the girl another smile.

"When you get better, I…I want to try to…you know…" Unsure of how to word what she had been thinking ever since she had walked Dawn home, the girl saw Willow staring back at her.

"Tara, do you…you mean…?"

"Yes, Willow, I'll let you love me again." Smiling as she saw the girl's usually sad green eyes lit up with an un-restrain able amount of joy, Tara leaned down and kissed the girl's forehead before pulling the blanket down around herself in order to protect herself from the cold that the marble floor of the bathroom offered. Snuggling her head deeper into the girl's chest, Willow sighed, although the gesture was one of happiness, not sadness. Closing her eyes over her green eyes, the former Witch felt her body finally give into her body's need for sleep. Watching the girl she was holding close to her, Tara smiled, and rested her chin atop the girl's head as she waited for the red-head to fall back to sleep.

* * *

"_I feel like I'm dying." _ Sobbing from where she continued to lay curled up on the bathroom floor, Willow pressed her hands deeper into her stomach in an attempt to alleviate the pain. Kneeling beside her, Tara sighed as she ran her hands through the girl's hair, holding it back as the girl continued to cough violently.

"Ssshhh, it's alright. Just breathe." Whispering the words to the red-head in an attempt to calm her down, Tara sighed as she saw and felt the girl continuing to shake underneath her finger's touch. She had lost track of the hours that the two of them had been here, and part of her was glad that she had no scheduled classes that day. She couldn't bear the thought of leaving the girl alone in the room while she was going through what, up to that point, was the worst withdrawal symptom she had gone through yet.

"Oh, my god, it hurts…I can't breathe..." Shaking her head slightly as tears continued to stream down her face, Willow felt her stomach refusing to stop the summersaults it was doing inside her. There was nothing left inside her stomach to even cough back up, considering that she hadn't eaten anything within the last day. Somewhere, the red-head knew that Rack was probably laughing at her, but knowing that the warlock had no indication of knowing where Tara lived, she felt safe within the room.

"Lift your head a little, honey." Doing as the Wiccan asked, Willow took a sharp breath as she felt something cold being laid across her forehead. Pressing her palm gently against the wet cloth, Tara heard the girl breath out slowly as she continued to lay on the floor. "Does that feel better?"

"Better…" Waiting a few minutes after she had laid the wet cloth across the girl's head, the Wiccan heard the red-head starting to cough again. Her chest feeling as if it had been set on fire, Willow rolled over onto her side, the only thing keeping her from rolling over completely onto her stomach being Tara's hands on her side. As the coughing finally died down, the Witch felt the soft touch of a towel curl up underneath her head. Resting her hand above the girl's eyes, the Wiccan sighed as she felt how warm her girl was.

Taking the washcloth off of the girl's forehead, Tara stood up onto her knees for a moment and ran the material underneath the facet before refolding it and laying it back against the girl's burning forehead. Sucking in another deep breath, the Witch sniffled as Tara returned to sitting beside her. Her fingers gently moving through the locks of hair laying in front of her, the Wiccan heard a new wave of sobs break the silence in the air. Shooting up from where she was sitting, Willow held her face above the toilet head as she felt her insides ordering her stomach to bring anything up. Quickly moving behind her, Tara held the girl's hair behind her neck as the red-head started to heave repeatedly.

As the sounds of retching filled the room, Tara closed her eyes while retaining her grip on Willow's hair in order to hold it away from her face. As minutes of heaving from her empty stomach finally passed, the red-head started to breathe in large gulps of air. Easing herself back down onto the makeshift bed of towels and pillows that Tara had arranged for her, the Witch pressed her sleeve against her eyes in order to dry some of the tears that were falling from her eyes. Retrieving the washcloth from its position on the floor, Tara returned it to the girl's forehead as she laid back down behind her.

"I can't throw up anything else. There's _nothing_ else in me, except water." Bringing her knees up to her chest, Willow allowed Tara to pull her into her grip as her stomach trembled from the sensations it had been forced to experience. "That makes sense, right?"

"Ssshhh, don't talk." Nuzzling her chin into the girl's red-hair, Tara sighed. "Just close your eyes and rest. Try not to think about being sick."

"Kinda hard not to…" Shaking her head as the Wiccan snuggled it into her arm, Willow closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her folded knees. "Oh, god…"

"Ssshhh…" Continuing to shush the girl, Tara wished she could do something for the girl, despite the fact that using Magick in order to alleviate the Dark Magicks would simply make the red-head feel even worse than she did already. Focusing solely on her breathing, Willow managed to fall into a light sleep, although her body refused to allow her to even have the faintest of dreams or nightmares. Still holding onto her girl, Tara sighed and closed her eyes in an attempt to rest her own exhausted body.

Within an hour's time, they found themselves in the same position all over again, and it continued on throughout the night, and even as the sun rose on the horizon, Willow found herself heaving over the bowl once more. Praying to every God and Goddess she could remember the names of, the red-head wished that she could simply sleep, even for an hour's time, in order to ensure her exhausted body that she would be able to continue through with the newly arrived day.

Without even thinking it, the girl knew that the days ahead were only going to be longer.

* * *

"Willow?" Saying the girl's name in a somewhat normal tone, Tara saw the girl somewhat peacefully laying on the bed while she looked up at the ceiling, and all the things laying underneath its shelter. "Honey?"

"I'm here…" Lifting her gaze from the tiling above her, Willow rolled over somewhat groggily onto her side as the girl came to the side of the bed.

"I brought you some ginger ale. I thought it might help your stomach." Handing the girl the bottle, Tara sat down beside her on the bed. Somewhat un-eagerly taking the offered drink, the red-head twisted the cap off and took a small sip of the liquid.

"You seem better today." Noticing how some of the girl's color had returned, the Wiccan offered her a small smile. "Did you actually open a window today?"

"No…not really…"

"You did something…" Looking into the other girl's eyes in an attempt to see what it was that she was being so vague about, the blonde Wiccan's smile never once faded from her face. "So what was it?"

"I…I sorta…used Magick today…"

"_You what?" _Staring in disbelief at the other girl, Tara felt anger beginning to boil to the surface of her emotions in order to combat the shock. After almost two weeks, had Willow finally broken down and used the power lying dormant within her?

"No, no, no, not that Magick!" Shaking her head furiously as she saw how her words had been misunderstood, Willow stopped as she felt her body ordering her to stop as her stomach threatened to summersault. "I got up and walked around today."

"Oh…" The anger she had felt starting to boil back down, Tara breathed out a heavy sigh "You should be careful on how you phrase things, sweetie."

"Sorry. Just kinda slipped out." Taking another sip of the ginger ale in her hand in order to avoid making another slip-up, the red-headed Witch felt the other girl reach out and push some of her hair back behind her ear.

"It's alright. Please don't scare me like that. I…I thought that for a minute you were going to go back to using Magicks again."

"I wouldn't do that." Sitting the drink down in her lap, Willow shook her head again. "I…I want to get better for you."

"And you are. It's almost been two weeks. You can do this." Offering the girl her familiar lop-sided grin, Tara stared into the pair of green eyes staring back at her. "I believe in you."

"Thanks, but I think your trust might be a little misplaced." Rolling her eyes while she grinned, the red-headed Witch took another sip of the drink she was holding. Upon hearing the girl's reaction, the other girl reached out and laid her hand atop Willow's knee. Looking down at the hand touching her, Willow couldn't help but feel a small spark flood out through her body. "Cause, I mean, I might fall off the wagon or something, and we'd have to start all over something, and we wouldn't want that would we?"

"Willow-babble." Her grin finally breaking out into a full smile, Tara saw her grin spread to the other girl's lips.

"I guess I shouldn't have even brought that subject up, huh?" Casting her gaze at the clock sitting atop the table next to the bed, the red-head saw the numbers '5:30' staring at her with an unflinching harshness. "Maybe you should take a shower, I mean, you've had a long day and all."

"Does that mean you're thinking of me naked?"

"Maybe…" Grinning slyly, Willow felt a small amount of warmth spread to her cheeks. "Not that I should be or anything…"

"Why's that? Afraid that I might want to show you that thought?" Playfully teasing the other girl, Tara nevertheless returned to her feet and headed for the adjoining bathroom. Her green eyes never once leaving the girl as she walked, the red-headed Witch felt her heart beat skipping with an unbelievable amount of joy. The things that Tara had said to her the night before had ran through her mind all day, making her unable to escape them, although she had no desire to do so. Despite the desperate conditions that had forced their reunion, she now knew that there was a definite chance that things had been somewhat forgiven. Still, the need to make up all the pain that she had caused both herself and Tara, as well as everyone else, rang out through her heart and soul.

With the way that the Wiccan had looked, smiled, and touched her, Willow leaned back into the warm mattress beneath her, and closed her eyes while a smile remained glued to her face.

* * *

Awaking up from the dreamless slumber that had become a seemingly permanent fixture in her sleep, Willow sighed and stared out across the dark filled room. Readjusting how she was laying, she felt something touching her hand, although the shape that the touch belonged to remained hidden in the darkness. Furrowing her brow in confusion, the red-head squinted as she became aware of the sound of breathing next to her. Her green eyes rapidly becoming adjusted to the near total pitch black shadows that had engulfed the room, the girl found Tara sleeping peacefully next to her. Looking down at where she felt more warmth than there should be in that place, the Witch found the girl's palm resting peacefully atop her hand, those gentle fingers simply touching her.

As a smile came to her face, the red-head raised her gaze so that she was staring directly at Tara's sleeping, peaceful face. There had been so many times that she had woken up to see that expression, but for the past weeks, it had felt as if each one of those memories had taken place in another age. To see how happy the Wiccan looked, it made the smile on the red-head's face become an almost permanent one. Having to force her body to remain still so that it wouldn't awaken the other girl, Willow felt every one of her senses being set on fire from the spark that flowed out of the blonde Wiccan's touch and into her body. The sensation was not one that was unfamiliar, but it was one that had seemed so distant and unobtainable that the Witch simply laid and let the sensations of that spark overwhelm her body.

Stirring somewhat, Tara did not awaken, although she moved her hand slightly from where it lay atop the red-head's fingers. Her smile growing even wider than she would have thought possible, Willow barely managed to suppress the urge to 'squeak' with happiness. Continuing to stare at the other girl for what seemed like a blissful eternity, the red-head finally felt the need for sleep beginning to overtake her body and mind. Allowing herself one last look at the sleeping Wiccan, Willow snuggled her head back into the pillow beneath her red hair. Closing her green eyes, the smile that she had fallen asleep with returned as she waited for the world to fade away into the black.


	3. Return

**Alrighty, this is the last chapter, so I thank all of you that reviewed/left feedback and were interested in the story. I hope all of you enjoyed it :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or any of the characters. They belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. **

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"I don't want to do this…I wanna go back to bed." Pouting, Willow stood just in front of the doorway that led to the outside world, the same one that she had forgotten for almost five weeks now. Waiting for her out in the hallway, Tara crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'll drag you out if you don't come." Her face showing no room for arguing, the Wiccan waited patiently for what seemed like an hour before her girl replied to her challenge.

"Tara, please, I don't want to…"

"You _have_ to. End of discussion." Frowning, Tara softened her tone slightly. "Honey, please. You can't stay in there forever."

"Why not?" Her lips continuing to hold their pout, the red-head took a step back. "I'm not ready yet."

"If you don't come out, I'm going to drag you out and carry you."

"That wouldn't be so bad…I want snuggles though." Continuing to back up, the Witch shook her head. "Tara, not today, please."

"It's Buffy's birthday. If we show up and show her that you're not on the Magicks anymore, she'll forgive you."

"No, she won't. I hurt Dawnie. She'll want to hurt me." Sitting down onto the bed, Willow watched as the Wiccan began to walk towards her. "No, no, I'm not going!"

"Sweetie, you're acting like a child." Taking hold of the girl's arm, Tara tried to pull her back onto her feet but found the other girl remaining firmly glued to her spot.

"Tara, please, I don't want to…" Shaking her head, Willow tried to pull the blonde Wiccan onto the bed with her. "Please, just let me sleep."

"No, Willow, you're going to the party. Now come on, get up!"

"Tara, why are you making me do this?" Still shaking her head, the red-head finally gave in and let the girl pull her up onto her feet. Wrapping her arms around the girl's back, Willow buried her head into the open shoulder in front of her. "They don't want to see me."

"Yes, they do." Forcing the girl's head away from her shoulder so that she could look into the girl's eyes, Tara strengthened the resolve in her eyes. "You need to go see them, sweetie."

"But they're going to be mad…"

"Maybe they will, but you need to face that. You can't hide here forever."

"You won't leave me?" Looking into the other girl's eyes, Willow couldn't help but let the amount of fear and anxiety she was feeling sink into her pupils. "Please? I don't think I can do this without you there."

"I'll be right there." Offering the girl a smile, Tara rubbed the lower portion of the red-head's back. "Ok, honey?"

"What if she tries to hurt me? I…I can't go back to using Magick again." Shaking her head, Willow closed her eyes for a moment as she felt Tara gently starting to rub her thumb against her cheek. "I don't know what I'll do if she tries to hurt me."

"She won't hurt you, sweetie."

"But I-" Starting to speak, the red-head felt the thumb that had been gently massaging her cheek turn and press against her lips, silencing her.

"I promise you she won't hurt you." Smiling, the Wiccan leaned in and kissed the girl's lips after removing her thumb from its place on the same spot. "Ok?"

"Ok." Nodding nervously, the Witch rested her head against the girl's shoulder once more. "Why can't we stay here, and just snuggle?"

"If we go, I'll snuggle with you when we get back."

"Promise?"

"Promise. You have to come out of the room though." Gesturing with her head towards the still open door, Tara saw the red-head's eyes follow where her head had 'pointed' to. Taking a deep breath, Willow gave the other girl a nod as she took a slow step towards the door. Repeating the process again and again until she once again stood in the doorway, the Witch closed her eyes and forced her body to take the first step over the doorway and back out into the rest of the world.

* * *

As she waited for Tara to open the door in front of them, Willow took a deep breath and gave the hand she was holding a tight squeeze. Feeling the tight hold her girl had on her hand, the Wiccan turned her head and offered the girl one last smile in order to assure her that everything would be alright.

"They've missed you, honey." The smile still adorning her face, the Wiccan could almost feel how afraid and anxious the red-head was. "Just breathe."

"Breathing, breathing is good…" Nodding, Willow closed her eyes for a moment. "I guess its too late to go back to the room?"

"Too late." Nodding, Tara shifted her footing slightly and leaned over in order to give a quick kiss onto the Witch's lips. "It'll be alright."

"I hope you're right." Giving the other girl a small nod, Willow heard a knock on the hard wood surface of the door, and the sounds of the affairs within the Summers house began to bleed out as it opened.

"Tara!" Smiling widely, Dawn's eyes retained their happy quality until her eyes fell on where Willow was standing behind the Wiccan. Shock quickly replacing the happy quality, the younger Summers girl's mouth opened and formed an 'o'. _"Willow?!"_

"Hey Dawnie…" Nervously giving a wave, the red-head waited for the girl to start screaming and shouting for Buffy to come to the door. With the minutes passing by for what seemed like hours, Willow finally heard the younger girl speak.

"Are…you…Tara, where did you find her?" Trying her best to strengthen her tone so that it showed no sign of shock, Dawn stepped out onto the porch and quietly closed the door behind her.

"She came to me the night you and Buffy _left _her, Dawn." Still holding the girl's hand, Tara reconsidered her words as soon as she had said them, knowing that they sounded a little harsh. "She needed help, and she teleported herself to my dorm room."

"I…I did…" Nodding as she saw Dawn look to her for confirmation, Willow looked down at the wood of the porch beneath her feet. "Dawn, I'm…I'm sorry. I wasn't in control of the Magicks like I thought I would, and I almost got you killed. It was stupid of me to do, I'm stupid, and I shouldn't be here, I'm should go back to where I was, and leave you alone…"

"Sweetie, you're babbling." Giving the red-head's hand a small squeeze, Tara saw from the expression on Dawn's face that she was still having trouble believing what had happened. "Dawnie, Willow's been at my dorm for the past couple weeks. She hasn't used Magick at all."

"You mean, you stopped?"

"She stopped." Answering for Willow, the Wiccan nodded. "She's been spell-free for almost five weeks now."

"Yeah, that's me…maybe I should get a little key-chain that says clean for five weeks."

"Dawn, who's…here…" Opening the door and looking out, Buffy's eyes flooded with shock for a moment before she restrained her emotions over seeing who was standing on her porch. "Willow?"

"H-Hey, Buffy…" Beginning to stumble over her words for a moment, Willow gave another nervous wave. "I'm back…"

"Where did you find her?" Turning towards Tara, Buffy's tone held a small amount of anger to it. Somewhat un-phased by the display, Tara stood her ground while holding onto her girl's hand.

"She's been at my dorm room for the past few weeks. She hasn't used any Magick since the night Dawn got hurt."

"You knew where she was the _whole_ time?" As shock came to stand side-by-side with the shock she was feeling, the Slayer looked at the red-head standing beside the Wiccan. "So, you ran away from us and went straight to her?"

"Buffy, please, I'm sorry-" Starting to apologize, Willow saw Buffy hold up a hand that silenced her.

"Willow, you could have killed Dawn. You weren't in control, and you wouldn't stop."

"I know, but I'm better now…Tara helped me…"

"Buffy, she's not lying. She hasn't used _any_ Magick. She's stopped."

"And how long will it be before she starts using them again?" The anger in her voice starting to subside, Buffy closed her eyes and sighed. "Willow, do you understand what you did?"

"I almost killed Dawnie, Buffy, I know. I'm sorry, I can't say that enough." Starting to turn away, Willow sighed. "I'll go."

"No, Willow, don't." Opening her eyes, the Slayer looked at one of her oldest friends, and tried her best not to let the anger she felt control her again. "You…You're really not using an Magick anymore?"

"Not one spell." Nodding, the red-head grinned slightly. "The after-effects of stopping really suddenly kinda turned me off to it."

"There were after-effects?" Furrowing her brow, Dawn looked at both Willow and Tara. "You're saying Magick is like drugs?"

"Kind of…only the Dark Magicks do that to you, Dawnie." Her wording seeming very unstable, the red-head looked at the girl beside her for reassurance that she had described it properly. "I shouldn't have even messed with them."

"You haven't done them in five weeks, sweetie." Giving the red-head's hand a quick squeeze, Tara smiled. "That's a start."

"Can…Can I come in, Buffy?" For what seemingly passed by like hours instead of the seconds they were, Willow waited for the other girl's response. Finally giving a nod, Buffy said a single word.

"Yes." Offering the girl a small smile, the Slayer stepped away from the door. "Come in."

A smile returning to her face, Willow allowed Tara to lead her into the house, with Buffy and Dawn following close behind. Watching as the Witch stepped into the room to the mixture of shock and happiness from those who had also come to the party, Buffy actually felt a smile come to her face as she shut the door behind her, sealing the rest of the world off from the affairs inside the house.

* * *

As she curled herself around the body lying beside her, Willow smiled. The somewhat bitter-sweet reunion with the rest of the Scoobies had gone surprising well, at least in her mind, considering that for all intents and purposes, she had imagined the others turning on both herself and Tara, and out casting them. Instead, she had been greeted as a long-lost friend, at least by Dawn, Buffy, and Xander. Anya, while somewhat shocked at her reappearance, had welcome her, before returning to her other focuses.

"I was promised snuggles, and I received." Her infectious grin spreading to Tara's lips, the red-head felt a pair of fingers trailing a pattern along her back. "I'm a happy camper right now."

"Glad to hear it." Still smiling, Tara leaned down and pressed her lips against the Witch's waiting pair. Returning to kiss, Willow finally pulled away after minutes of blissful peace. "See, they didn't hate you."

"Probably because you were there with me. I don't think they would have believed me if I had been by myself."

"Of course they would have. They missed you, sweetie."

"Whatever makes you happy." Rolling her eyes playfully, the red-head stared at the other girl's blue eyes that seemed to glow in the dim lighting of the room.

"I love you." Resting her head down onto the other girl's shoulder, Willow closed her eyes and sighed in happiness. For the first time in weeks, she felt closer to her old self than she had for months. The Magicks no longer caused her to forfeit her food, and the power that fueled them lay dormant inside her. The five weeks that it had taken for them to work their way out of her system had been the closest to Hell that she had been, but now that they had passed, things seemed to be riding on a smoother trail.

"I love you too, honey." Easing herself deeper into the mattress, Tara closed her eyes and allowed the sleepless feeling she had felt for so long drift away. Her own mind already asleep, Willow drifted to sleep, and finally dreamed not a nightmare, but a dream filled with love and happiness.


End file.
